Surviving When Your Friend is a Bully

This is me. Where I am now and while it is not really me, it is me.

This is me. Where I am now and while it is not really me, it is me.

Goodness my life has changed so much since that day that I wrote a blog about my former BFF and she dumped me.  I really did not have the courage to dump her, so I took the passive/aggressive way out and wrote my feelings.  I wasn’t sure she would see it, but her daughter subscribed to my blog and BAM within minutes my former BFF was in a fit of rage over what I wrote and she dumped me.

I survived.  In fact I am better emotionally now that she is gone.  At first it sucked because we did so much together over the years but in looking back what we did came with an emotional price tag.

It was a tough time in our lives.  We were possibly going to lose our home, my husband had been through several unemployment periods, and we were at an age where getting a job wasn’t easy.  Younger people than us got the jobs that we were qualified for because of many reasons, lower salaries of course being one.

I grieved the loss.

Then I began to realize I no longer missed her.  My husband was a great support during this time, he was kind but reminded me of all the times she had hurt me deeply with her callous behaviors because she knew or thought she knew I would just take it.  Go ahead hit me again JG, I will still be there.

Think I am kidding?  Oh no, there was a period in our friendship where she did get physical with me and more than once.  I always came back for more, because I knew it was the booze.  I know now I should have never come back because physical turned into emotional abuse and the true word is bully.  She is an alcoholic, she is a bully.

I am writing about this now because this morning a closed group of dynamic women I belong to on Facebook inspired me to write about proud moments in our lives.  I wrote about how I no longer take bullshit.

In one of our last conversations she yelled at me telling me to get a real job.  Well as the country song goes “How Do You Like Me Now?”

This year alone I have spoken or been invited to speak at 6 conferences all over the country.  I have 2 podcast shows that make money, and I am starting a 3rd one soon.

I work in the world of kindness and I allow no one to bully me in any way.  JG you taught me well.

I don’t have a job.  I have a life.  My life includes working on a book, working 3 podcast shows (one is daily), doing public speaking, being hired as a consultant in social media PR, running my own company and that company is an integral part of my life.

My friends, now, are kind, loving, supportive and special.  We make time for each other and we laugh a lot.

JG you missed the best of me, but maybe my best would never happened if you had not dumped me. Thank you!

P.S.  Please people if you know you are in a bully relationship, leave.  Be the dumper or if you are strong enough be the dumpee.  I promise you that it is so much better on the other side.