Surviving Abandonment Issues

I have made amazing friends over the past several years.  I met most of them on Facebook, and I have met many in person.

Last week I finally got to meet a lovely woman who has lead an amazing life up to this point, and it will only get better.  She has a therapist background, has been the pastor at a very large hospital in Florida, has her own radio show, has a highly successful blog and on top of all this is beautiful on the outside.  I already knew she is beautiful on the inside.

She has also brought wonderful women into my life and a few men too.

We had a 3.5 hour lunch at a wonderful restaurant and over our lunch I finally summoned up the courage to ask her why I get “that” upset when my son leaves my home after a visit.  I do not get upset when I leave his house, I don’t get upset when he comes to visit and heads over to Orlando with the children.  I can stand in the park hug them all and leave.  I only get extremely upset when he pulls out of my driveway.

I asked my friend, as a therapist, why this happens to me.  I thought it was a symbolic sadness over all the losses I have had in my life.  I wasn’t ready to hear it is actually an abandonment issue.

WOW – I am still processing this.  I have done a lot of research on this and I know now that it all goes back to my mother.  Before she passed we were able to talk about the way she treated me as a child.  I can narrow it down to never feeling acceptable to her and as I have grown over the years I have healed in many areas, now I just have one more to go.  I can work through it because I am surrounded by strong friends and an adoring husband.

Now that I know what it is I can work on it.  Here is the interesting thing I learned; most of us suffer from some type of abandonment issues.  A point to ponder right?


Leave a Reply