Would You Rather Be Right or Would You Rather Be Happy?

I heard that phrase today on a segment on marriage on The Today Show.  I still boycott ABC so now I am a groupie of NBC in the morning.  I had not thought about that phrase in a long time.  It was given to me to think about years ago when I was in a failing relationship.  Arguing becomes a way of life when a relationship is on the rocks no matter what type of relationship it is.

Think about it-sometimes it is so much better to close your mouth and just think your thoughts in your head rather than blurt them out and cause more arguing.  You know when you are right and belaboring the point with another person doesn’t lead to happiness-it leads to more stress and unhappiness.

We all know the phrase “Choose your battles wisely” too.  Several weeks ago I got tired of listening to several people who never had a nice thing to say about almost everything.  I wrote about it under the title of Energy Vampires.  On talk shows they refer energy vampires as toxic friends.  We all have them.

When I wrote my thoughts after dumping them I knew they would  verbally dump back.  I was prepared mentally, I chose my battle wisely.  I ignored them because absolutely everything they said was a projection of themselves.  Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?  They chose needing to be right.   I chose to be happy and move on.

Actually it was amusing to read what seemingly mature, college graduates resorted to in anger.  I chose happiness when I deleted their names as friends from social networking sites and my email accounts and when I let them know I was divorcing them as friends.  To continue to receive disgusting emails peppered with rude remarks mostly about Barack Obama had reached a point of being overkill.   They both want him gone.

The other person I had to divorce has nothing but complaints about her life.  She has gotten by for years on her looks and style not her brains.  Now that her looks are fading she is in trouble.  The day that she told me that another sales person in her company doesn’t like her because she is prettier, dresses better, and is slimmer than the co-worker I said time to let go.  I had learned several years ago to watch what I said to her because she could get angry at the drop of a pin.  That is not a good friendship, real friends can say what they feel and think to each other.

Highly opinionated people choose to be right-and you are not going to change their thinking, they are always right.  Smile and choose happiness.

Larry has basically divorced a family member.  He had it with this person and doesn’t want to talk to them any more.  He had it up to his eye teeth and once he finalized his divorce he felt so good.  He is now debating doing it with someone else who is just getting on his last GD nerve too. 

It is obvious we cannot get along with everyone we know and meet.  We are opinionated humans and our opinions can irritate others just like their opinions can irritate us.  Being happy is so much better than being right.  Knowing when to keep quiet and just smile inside is a skill to master.  You have to remind yourself of the saying the minute you are intangled in a conversation you are uncomfortable with because when you are reminded you can choose happiness. 

If we do something different on the east coast then they do on the west coast that doesn’t make either person wrong neither person is an expert on the opposite way of doing things.  Take the South – and the trucks with the Confederate flags in their rear windows and the bumper sticker that reads “we don’t care how you do it up north.”  Even here in the USA we are divided as to how things are done.  Is it worth arguing over?  I don’t think so.  Just grit your teeth and smile and choose happiness. 

I am glad I heard that suggestion again in my life – we all need a reminder now and then that being happy is so much better than being right.

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