A “ground zero” moment is when something so devastating happens to you in your life that as time goes by you hear yourself asking “was that before (the devastating occurrence) or after it?” I call them zero-point moments.
We all have them. It is a time when our lives have irrevocably been changed.
Here in my area this week many people have had to face the devastation of losing someone they loved to a violent man with a gun.
In my life for years it was always “was that before my breast cancer or after it?” My body, my own body had tried to destroy me, and that is an irrevocable change moment for certain.
We all have these moments. We could have lost someone we loved and that was our zero-point moment. It could have been 9/11 for sure. It could be a divorce or a bad accident. We all have things happen to us that hurt us so badly we are at a zero point in our lives.
I, personally, know someone who loves his children fiercely. They are good children, they never needed to be disciplined. They knew they were loved. Then a divorce happened and of course that turned every one’s life upside down. For the children it was their zero-point moment. Not only did their lives change, but they changed too. We all act out when our lives become painful. They acted out and unfortunately still are acting out.
The changes they have gone through have been so dramatic that now their parents have a zero-point moment of asking “was that before she or after she?”
What has happened in this instance is that there has been an emotional loss in this change and a rude awakening that certain things are gone forever. As parents this will happen to us at some point, there is no perfect child and certainly no perfect parent.
Life has a way of doing this to all of us. It takes a long time to move past change we did not see coming if we ever do.
I don’t use my breast cancer as a zero point in my life any longer. It has been too long and fortunately I have been zero-point free for a long time now, which in itself is a little scary. There have been some minor moments but nothing that has changed my world that much (yet)!
Yes, life brings changes to us all the time, some are very traumatic or very sad. I know from experience the one thing that you should do is not shut down from those you love. You need a support system in place to deal with devastation. You also need to cry. Even if you have male parts 😉 – crying can help, being held can help, talking can help, mothers and fathers can help, there is always someone who can help, who understands.
Life doesn’t come in a box only filled with happiness.