I attach my blog to an application on Facebook called networkedblogs and yesterday’s blog post got a lot of attention. I was surprised to see how much support the article got along with the status update I wrote that people placed on my Facebook page.
Several comments went right to the term I avoided using – cyber bullying. Yet that is what I was writing about in part because it is the latest way to bully anyone. Pick up your cell phone and blast out a text. Log onto your computer and post a nasty comment directly or indirectly at anyone on Facebook or MySpace. It is so easy to hide behind your cyper persona and grow testicles – and I have seen some pretty big ones on the female form too.
This comment showed up on my wall first and I edited it slightly:
Adults who cyber bully R weaklings with no morals. I have found in my experiences that it seems the adults that r the worst at cyper bullying have NO children. UR views are totally different when u have a child. U see their pain n U end up viewing the world differently. But……Cyber Bullies usually have someone that supports or encourages their behavior……
Yesterday at 9:42am
This was posted before this person even read my blog because I do talk about group or gang up bullying in my blog and it can be vicious.
Then this post showed up:
Great blog Carole! People need to remember, never put in writing something you do not want shared with the masses. Bullying in any form is cowardly. Cyber bullies only find their balls when behind a screen, and more times, than not the issue at hand is either propaganda or something that is none of their business. I have witnessed this behavior both professionally and personally. You are correct, the only way bullies have power over you is if you allow them to. Like you, I choose not to allow bad behaviors on the part of others adversely affect me. Losing my friendship and professional support is their loss, not mine 🙂
This was posted this morning and I am glad to see people speak up on this because I know people who actually believe that posting shitty comments on Facebook or MySpace are not “mean”. Newsflash – it’s public and being public means people ask questions and you look really bad to your friends – I think people don’t realize that they are the ones who look well mean. Someone blasted me (imagine that) and 5 of their friends emailed me asking WTF is wrong with this person.
As I mentioned yesterday I have witnessed a lot of cyber bullying on Facebook and MySpace. I have been shocked and surprised by some of the people who have actually done this and even blind-sided by some. It just proves my point that cyber space is like a pill that causes testicles to either grow or if you have them grow bigger.
I disagreed with a tasteless joke about the oil spill that was really over the top tasteless and that meant I got into the discussion. It wasn’t bad until some chick wrote a comment that she loves to laugh at other people’s crisis’. I did not react well. That got me bullied by someone who should have kept his mouth shut.
I deleted him as a friend, blocked him for a while but unblocked him recently -unblocking him took my power back. I “allow” him to read what I have to say.
I could have reported him – I like his family. I just figured it wasn’t worth it.
During the last presidential election a friend of my son’s from high school jumped in and got really pissy. He did not agree with any of our feelings, and when I made one more comment he wrote ” Face it, Carole, you are a racist.” That got him reported. In fact once I started to really dig deep I found a fax number for Facebook. I printed out the entire thread of conversation and faxed it to them. In the meantime he had blocked me so I couldn’t do much. Then out of total stupidity a year later he put in writing a statement on a friend’s wall. He used the f-bomb and my name in the same sentence. That was emailed to me, and I faxed it to Facebook and he had his account suspended for a while. I took my power back.
This is why you have to hold onto your power. If someone posts something ugly on Facebook or MySpace you can report the comment. If enough complaints come in your cyber bully’s account can be locked down.
As for those who like to engage in cell phone texting wars – which is the most immature way to try to make a point my advice is don’t read the texts and if you do read them do not answer them.
There is a great saying –
“Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”
I know someone who ALWAYS has to be right. He will stubbornly argue into the ground just to be right. Guess what? I do not think he is very happy? How can he be, he is too focused on being right.
Most cyber bullies are that way too, they always have to be right.
I have a Facebook friend who has been picked on by people who probably pick on anyone who is different than they are and have done this all their life. They are grown women with grown children. Nothing ceases to amaze me that people do – sometimes though what comes out of people’s brains and into a text or comment is way over the top.
Sometimes people have an agenda too – I will write about that in another blog post. Play nice friends – heaven is not open to bullies I am sure of that.
- Protect Yourself From Cyber Bullying (socyberty.com)