Surviving takes strength. No matter what you are surviving and learning to live with or without, it take so much strength. I look back on the many blog posts I have written over the years and I see where my flaws are as well as seeing where my strengths lie. I have written in anger, I have written in humor. I have written, published and gone back and trashed posts too. I just did that this morning.
I thought a lot about this today and I came to the realization that in order to break the cycle of writing and living in anger means taking the first step. That step is letting go of the crumbs that remain that trigger our feelings. Several years back I wrote a blog post in disappointment and pain about a friendship that was heading downhill fast. Unfortunately I had allowed myself to be talked into trying one more time to try to do an intervention over a serious drinking problem. You know how it is when you confront someone with the truth, but they cannot accept it, even if they know it’s the truth? Things change. Our friendship disintegrated rapidly after that and sadly not in an honest way. We should have been honest with each other about why it was ending.
There is another thing that we cling to in life that we need to let go of, and that is the belief we hold on to that people should act the way we would act. The simple truth is, they won’t, they don’t, they can’t. They own the way they do things just like we own the way we do things. Yet we all get our feelings hurt because we hold on to that “I would have or I would never have” done/said/not said that.
The road to recovery takes time – the crumbs need to be swept out of sight. It’s time to let go and that means doing what we need to do to remove the trigger points. This morning I began by hiding people on my Facebook so their posts don’t serve as reminders. It takes strength but it is the first step in moving on from feeling bad to feeling better. Detach – I highly recommend it.