Surviving the Narcissist is front and center in my mind these days because I am approaching my one year anniversary of being blind-sided. Now I have my life back. While emotional blood was drawn, it was just my turn and that’s all okay. It happened to others before me, they have told me their stories. Unfortunately it will continue, but it is not my place to save people, they have to go through it and come out on the other side as I did and be in a much better place.
I am fantastic. As a matter of fact if I were to come face to face with this person today I would gush about how grateful I am that it all happened – I have changed a lot. A year ago I would have kicked their ass into a different county.
I have done a lot of research since first blood because normally my Narcissist warning system runs at full alert and this is one time it failed me for 3 years. Yes, I admit it, I missed ALL the signs for over 3 years.
Let’s define this:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
THE NARCISSIST – This person is an elitist and exists to be adored and admired.
• A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
• Think Wall Street (Gordon Gecko) or American Gigolo (Richard Gere)
A Narcissist has absolutely no remorse and no conscience. They view others as nothing more than objects
to be used as a means to an end.
A Narcissist demands their sense of self be propped-up by others on a continual basis. This is because they are disconnected from themselves and have no sense of self. Without validation and recognition from the outside world, a Narcissist feels dead inside.
A Narcissist has a very fragile ego and is extremely insecure. They need others to reflect their image back to them in order to feel alive. A
Narcissist is addicted to the spotlight and craves attention and adoration like a drug. They have an insatiable need to be recognized for their achievements, no matter how small or insignificant. They are grandiose and view themselves as much more accomplished than they really are…basically, they are delusional and not in touch with reality. They believe other people worship them.
A Narcissist has a sense of entitlement that is unsurpassed. They demand to be idealized by others. If you do not revere them, they will lash out at you. If you do not agree with them, they will retaliate against you. They have no moral code and no conscience. They simply cannot help themselves. If you do not admire, adore and revere them, they willdevalue and discard you with no remorse.
A Narcissist only surrounds themselves with people who agree with everything they say and worship the ground they walk on.
They feel nothing but contempt and jealousy towards others, especially those who may pose a
threat to them. Anyone they perceive as a threat will be swiftly removed from their court. They view others as objects in their quest for
A Narcissist invests all of their energy into ensuring others validate their fragile ego. They live in a frantic state of paranoia that they will
be exposed at any minute. Consumed with avoiding this inevitable
disaster, they have little energy to be genuinely interested in others.
Amazing stuff huh?
In closing I would just like to say Bon Voyage to this person and I do raise a glass to them now and then for these reasons:
- My business is thriving since my wound healed and I am about to open a second business
- My relationship with my husband is remarkably improved and thriving
- My relationship with God is truer and deeper than ever
- My Narcissist alarm is working really well and won’t fail me again
- My friends that I surround myself with are real and I let go of those who feed this Narcissist
- My level of happiness is 99.5%
- My life is wonderful and I am in control of it