Surviving being the convenient friend until a better offer comes along was something that happened to me as a teenager. Marsha, my “best friend” would make plans with me to go out to our local dance club, to the movies, to dinner, whatever, and if a better offer came a long (a date) I got the phone call that cancelled our plans and was left holding the bag marked “loser”. It hurt.
I know now that Marsha was not a friend, not a true friend. Real true friends don’t do this to their friends. It is a terrible thing to do to anyone because it goes right to the heart of one’s self-esteem. It is 100% lousy, it is 100% mean, it is 100% crappy, it’s 100% thoughtless.
Many years have passed and wham bam it has happened again. I opened my heart in friendship to someone I really like a lot and the first time it happened, I actually “called” her on it, and she apologized. I really appreciated the apology, it meant the world to me. Life went on and then several times this year we had plans but a better offer came along and I guess I was just supposed to be ok with it. I wasn’t. It hurt. It really hurt.
What’s a more mature woman supposed to do when this happens (again)? Marsha taught me a huge lesson. Have more than one friend – simple answer. I do, and I have a wonderful husband too who encourages me to have girl dates. I just will pick a different girl from now on it’s all fine because in reality we know who the loser really is, don’t we?