I have made amazing friends over the past several years. I met most of them on Facebook, and I have met many in person.
Last week I finally got to meet a lovely woman who has lead an amazing life up to this point, and it will only get better. She has a therapist background, has been the pastor at a very large hospital in Florida, has her own radio show, has a highly successful blog and on top of all this is beautiful on the outside. I already knew she is beautiful on the inside.
She has also brought wonderful women into my life and a few men too.
We had a 3.5 hour lunch at a wonderful restaurant and over our lunch I finally summoned up the courage to ask her why I get “that” upset when my son leaves my home after a visit. I do not get upset when I leave his house, I don’t get upset when he comes to visit and heads over to Orlando with the children. I can stand in the park hug them all and leave. I only get extremely upset when he pulls out of my driveway.
I asked my friend, as a therapist, why this happens to me. I thought it was a symbolic sadness over all the losses I have had in my life. I wasn’t ready to hear it is actually an abandonment issue.
WOW – I am still processing this. I have done a lot of research on this and I know now that it all goes back to my mother. Before she passed we were able to talk about the way she treated me as a child. I can narrow it down to never feeling acceptable to her and as I have grown over the years I have healed in many areas, now I just have one more to go. I can work through it because I am surrounded by strong friends and an adoring husband.
Now that I know what it is I can work on it. Here is the interesting thing I learned; most of us suffer from some type of abandonment issues. A point to ponder right?