I write this for another blog site – don’t you just love the term “bullshit meter” well most of us have one, sometimes it works, sometimes the other person is so good they don’t set it off – so here goes:
I came face to face with my own authenticity recently after being faced with the fact that I had been dilly-dallying around for several years with someone who is far from being authentic at all.
I have always been a highly intuitive person and normally my warning alarm sounds loudly when I am face-to-face with someone who is hiding behind the cloak of sweetness and light.
Being challenged by my own authenticity began over a breakfast meeting in Ft. Lauderdale in April. A friend of mine who is a Reiki master and holistic massage therapist joined us that morning to explore the potential for being a part of a project in breast cancer. The meeting did not gel. I could sense a grayness hovering over all of us, and there was a heaviness in the air. We have all experienced feelings like this in our lives when things just don’t fit.
Over the next several weeks I was gifted in many different ways over this experience and the time I had spent I do not think of as wasted. I came to the understanding that while I was fooled by the sweetness and light, it was truly a gift because it brought me to a new exciting place where I could give with real empathy, that I could make a difference by revealing and reveling in my authentic self.
To get there though I was assaulted by the thoughts words and deeds of someone I once considered to be my mentor.
True friends rallied, and my dear friend who joined us that morning explained what she saw that morning which was just the gift I needed. She sat down at the table with us, started to talk, did some listening, observed the auras, listened to her own gut. She left that day comfortable with the fact she would have turned us down because she recognized that my mentor completely lacked authenticity.
I couldn’t see it because I believed in the dream, I believed in the project. How can you spot the people in your life that are not authentic?
Easy-peasy – here are 9 signs of being authentic:
- whether they can laugh at their own stupidity.
- whether they can freely admit that they ‘don’t know’, ‘they were wrong’ or ‘they made a mistake’
- whether they can take cheeky constructive ridicule from their peers and friends without retaliation or the feelings of emotional hurt
- whether they can maintain their dignity, authority, respect and presence regardless of their personal attire or appointed position
- whether they can truly communicate with all people as equals regardless of the other’s rank, wealth or social standing.
- whether they are ‘comfortable in their own skin‘ and not always pretending to be someone who they aren’t.
- whether they can ‘look you in the eye‘ and are engaged in the moment as they converse with you
- whether they can speak their truth graciously, seeking neither offence nor servitude.
- whether they are humble in the realization that what makes them special in one form of intelligence also make them totally dumb in another.
I call it relying on my bullshit meter. It failed me, or maybe I ignored it. I believe anyone who has been through breast cancer has a high functioning bullshit meter. We are on high alert. In my case my batteries have been replaced.
How does this all come back to where I am with my own authenticity? Well I recently started a public figure page on Facebook and it can be found at http://www.facebook.com/CaroleLSanek
I started this page from my inspiring side, but I am a triplet – not for real I am talking about what makes me multi-faceted. There are two other sides of me. One is the really funny side (it gets me in trouble with people who are not authentic they don’t like being teased), and then there is the sarcastic side but it is done with as little snarky as possible because I want to make people smile not wince.
All three sides will show up on this page – please go take a look at it and see some of my photo/quote creations there too.
Last of all I want to thank my mentor for showing her true colors to me and sending me in a new direction where no one is more important than the other, where real empathy reigns supreme, where we can laugh at each other in front of others. We are the winners of authenticity, are you one too?