Oh but it was. I have no complaints – not now, not today, now that I see what all the shit we had to wade through actually did for us.
Let me tell you a story. On the last working day of February, 2010 my husband was laid off. This was single handedly the BEST DAMN THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO US IN OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE.
When Larry and I look back on it all the number one thing that makes this the best thing is how we became even more invested in each other. There were definite moments of feeling frozen with fear and there were sleepless nights but we prevailed and our greatest successes came because we prevailed. We communicated and we took action-together.
In any relationship there has to be two-way communication and two-way taking action. This is true not only in a marriage but with children, friends, and your boss and co-workers and so forth and so on. Both pieces have to be in place for success. All relationships take work, and they also take sharing thoughts, ideas and two-way action. Once you start this cycle good things happen and you want to keep pedaling.
Support from your friends and family is also extremely helpful. In the mid-summer over wine and pizza with 3 other good girlfriends a book was mentioned. That book is “The Five Love Languages”. When it was our turn to read the book we read it out loud. We took the quiz at the end and then we discussed our discoveries and implemented them. The results were amazing. We also saw our own children’s languages and then we thought about other people who touch our lives and we understood more about what people who are important to us need.
What happened when Larry was laid off was that we started working together on a daily basis. We had business meetings, we discussed ideas ALL the time, and we took action. Six months later we attended our state real estate convention and major ideas came out of that. August was our turning point for sure.
When we came home from our convention we sat at our dining room table and bounced ideas from all that we learned off each other and the very next day we took action.
Prior to August someone had told me that I should get a job. A job? I have a job and if I had not been doing my job Larry and I would not be where we are now. He would be paddling a canoe with one paddle going in circles and I would probably be working at Target. Our partnership would have been destroyed and our marriage would probably be in jeopardy.
If I had abandoned all we were working towards by getting a “real” job we would not have the successful new web page we have which has brought us into the international real estate market and a joint venture with 2 groups of investors. We would not have one ebook written and 2 more underway. We would not have a system in place that allows us to actually take time off.
Larry now makes dinner with me every night. He closes his computer at 530PM and rarely goes into his office after dinner. He also stops to play with all three dogs twice a day. He is more relaxed and it shows.
I don’t work on Sunday any more. While I do manage 5 blogs, 5 corresponding Twitter sites, and 4 Facebook business pages, I write all week and schedule my posts – they magically appear on Sundays or any other day I am not working.
Together we share something many people don’t have or had and lost – vision. We can wait it out because we believe in the path we have chosen and in each other. We grow-we grow every day and that is another important ingredient. You have to want to grow together.
Larry also is the most supportive best friend I have. He gave me the latitude to pursue what I love to do and because of this support for my love of learning social media marketing I now have a brand new job. Yes I do, I launched The Social Butterfly Media Marketing over the weekend. Through several networking groups I belong to it soon became apparent to other people I have social media savvy. People encouraged me to teach others and I have customers lined up and appointments made.
Ideas keep flowing – it’s amazing. On New Yrs Eve while partying with a group of friends I looked at Larry and said “I know how we can make even more money!” At home the goal list came out and we added the new idea – we have 6 months to prepare it and offer it at the next state convention. We see it going national after that.
As I look back it has been an incredible year – the dust needed to settle but even in our worst moments ideas were born. It is about having vision – vision to move forward, vision to be successful, vision to be better, vision to follow your dreams and then two-way action because without taking action I suppose I would be working at Target.
One last thing – there is nothing wrong with working at Target or in retail anywhere. I used that as an example because at this point in my life, and unfortunately at my age, I had the vision to know that my opportunities for “real” employment were very limited. Oh wait I really do have a job.